By Popular Demand: More Cardinal Jersey Analysis

Thanks to comments here and elsewhere, some more jerseys got their turn in the spotlight. We’ve got two new posts up on our Facebook page, which you should like if you haven’t already!  Since there are so many of them, I believe a second post is in order.  So kick back and enjoy round 2!

Red Schoendienst #2: You are a lifer.  You’ve been at your job for as long as you can remember and have no trouble imagining the rest of your life at the place.  You aren’t the shining star, but you are a key cog.  Others may outshine you, but no one is as dedicated as you are.  You’ve gotten to the point where the new guys ask you what to do before the actual boss, you are that plugged in.

Edgar Renteria #3: You are calm, cool and collected.  You can gracefully go from situation to situation with hardly a misstep.  However, when you do make a mistake, it tends to turn into a Goldberg-like machine trying to fix it.  One thing is corrected, then another thing breaks.  Eventually, though, you wind up in a good place and with your reputation intact.

Ryan Theriot #3: You believe anyone can be redeemed. Good can come out of evil, sinners turned into saints. You are a sucker for a good redemption story and always hope the good guy can find a way to touch the evil villain. Also, you occasionally make strange running choices in your daily exercise.

Jim Bottomley #4: You don’t hold with all these modern contraptions.  Back in your day, girls were girls and men were men.  Who needs a cell phone? That one on the wall works perfectly fine.  Nothing today can top those days of old and you really wish people would stay off of your lawn.

Ron Gant #5: You remember the down times as a way of remembering just how good you have it now.  Sure, life is all peachy right now, but there were some dark times, there were times you didn’t know what was going to happen.  There were moments, but not many of them.  You never want to go back to those times and so you keep them firmly in your mind so you won’t.

Jose Oquendo #11: You can do it all.  You might not excel at every task that you set you mind to, but you will be adequate at worst.  People call you to fix their shelves, show them how to use Twitter, and babysit their kids.  Not everyone listens to you and occasionally you’ll flub up an assignment, but on the whole people are glad to call you friend.

Lance Berkman #12: You are the life of the party. You are the person that knows when the quip and knows when to be serious. Who can crack a joke then crack a situation wide open. You go through life like a playful big cat, just enjoying the ride and making it count.

Brendan Ryan #13: You are fine as long as you take your ADHD medicine.  Without that, you are a bouncing, distracted mess that can reach moments of brilliance but will annoy everyone around you when you are down from that level.  Shiny things are your friends and you do a lot of spinning in place, trying to look extremely cool and occasionally succeeding.

Jim Edmonds #15: You like the sizzle with your steak. You enjoy the glitz and the glamour, the Hollywood. You wear your fancy sunglasses even when it’s mostly cloudy. There’s no doubt you know what you are doing, but people sometimes wonder if you have to do it the WAY you do it.

Dizzy Dean #17: You are just a good ole boy that can talk big but back it up.  You might not use the fanciest words or even real words at all, but everyone knows that if you say you are going to do something, no matter how outlandish, chances are it’s going to happen.  It’s also possible that you have a fairly talented brother who just shakes his head at your exploits.

David Eckstein #22: You are a big fan of puppy dogs and fluffy pillows.  You root for the underdog in every movie you watch.  The word cute is a huge part of your vocabulary.  Alternatively, you are a huge Star Wars fan and appreciate Eckstein’s wife’s work.

Mark McGwire #25: You appreciate things as they happen, never dwelling on them after the fact. You don’t let the present color your impressions of the past. You like the majesty and wonder of the world, seeing the great works of man and not dwelling on how they were made. Also, big fan of the long ball.

Trevor Rosenthal #26: Sometimes you get pressed into doing jobs at work that you aren’t necessarily trained for.  You aren’t always thrilled with the change, but it turns out to be something you are pretty good at.  At times, you worry that you are getting pigeonholed and won’t ever get back to what you really want to do, but the money is good and you don’t rock the boat.

Mark Mulder #30: There’s a lot of good in your life and you want to stay humble. You know that the biggest hype and the biggest name doesn’t always bring back the biggest return. You want to be sure to check your ego before attempting anything.

Keith Hernandez #37: You are a child of the ‘70s.  You remember afros, disco and Happy Days in first run episodes.  You remember having only three channels and being smacked on the head when Dad wanted the channel changed.  You still have the Jackson 5 on your music device.  Or you are Matthew Philip, one or the other.

Bob Gibson #45: You silence a room just by walking in the door.  Your glower could make interns hide and coffee cups fall to the floor.  No one dares displease you because they know things would get very unpleasant for them.  Some of it is a front and those that know you respect you highly, but much of it isn’t and most people aren’t going to risk finding out the difference.

Willie McGee #51: You are the hit of the party, even with your aw-shucks manner and shy reserve.  No matter what you do, people want to be around you, reliving some great memories they made with you.  Even when you are away, your friends talk glowingly of you and wish you were around.

Skip Schumaker #55: Sometimes, life just isn’t fair for you.  They put you in a new position and you hold your own, but eventually that’s just not good enough.  You give and you give, but in the end you have to move on to another company.  You’d complain, but what good would it do you?

August Busch #85: You appreciate the titans of industry and you inspire to be one.  When you aren’t wearing the jersey, you are in a three-piece suit and carrying a briefcase to work, trying to climb the corporate ladder and angling for that corner office.  You put in the time to do good work and if the boss notices the extra effort, that’s fine with you.

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Last updated: 10/06/2022