What Does Your Cardinals Jersey Say About You?

Back in 2008, I was going through my closet of shirseys (with my budget, that’s what you get instead of the more expensive replica or real jerseys) and trying to decide what to wear.  It came to me then that each shirt could reflect differently on the person wearing it.  So I wrote about it and it seemed to go over well.  I got to thinking about that topic again recently and it seemed to be that, after five years, it could use a little revisiting.  Hardly anyone on the current roster was around back then, so why not take it out for another spin?  We could use a little levity during this tense playoff season!

Again, while the title of the post says jersey, I make no differentiation between authentic, replica, or t-shirt.  That might have some bearing on it to some folks, but I don’t think it’s has much relevance here.  I have a number of these, but my collection really needs to be increased.  Most directly, where can I find a Wacha one?

(I also apologize for having fun on the blog.  I know the national media seems to want to paint the Cardinals and their fans as a joyless group, but I couldn’t help myself.  No keyboards were flipped in the production of this post.)

Which of these do you have in your collection?

Ozzie Smith #1: You do your job well, but you have to make sure to put some flash to it.  You put a little extra spin when you walk past people on the sidewalk.  You use your off-hand to make a catch of something rolling off your desk.  People enjoy watching you go about your business and appreciate the little pizzazz that you bring to their day.  You are the golden child, the one that can do anything and make it look effortless.

Yadier Molina #4: You are a person that takes charge, a person that others look to get things planned and done.  You bring all-around excellence to whatever you do and can help people through the tough times.  You are organized and prepared for whatever might come, but creative enough to find some unique ways of solving problems.  It’s also possible that you are unable to beat a speedy turtle in a race.

Albert Pujols #5: You realize that greatness needs to be recognized.  You can separate the good from the bad and bad endings to relationships don’t color the wonderful memories you have from being with that person.  You also understand that great new beginnings can come out of those endings.

Modified Albert Pujols: You aren’t quite as gracious when it comes to finality.  You feel that loyalty doesn’t come with a price tag.  You think that the greatest place in the world is St. Louis and the idea anyone would want to leave it is insane.  Alternatively, you just want your 15 minutes of fame over at Joe Sports Fan.

Stan Musial #6: You are graceful, classic, timeless.  You appreciate the things that have come in the past and you realize that some things will never change.  You think that our current age could learn a lot from those that have come before.  You watch the black-and-white movies and list Bogart as one of your favorites.  Plus, at the prices that jerseys go for these days, you wanted to make sure to get one that was going to last and not feel dated.

J.D. Drew #7: You are an ironic kind of guy, always looking to defy expectations.  You will look for the root cause of a good thing and celebrate that, trying to be the smartest person in the room.  You are the kind of person that says, “Well, sure, this is great, but you really have to go back to this to appreciate it.”  People really don’t care for you that much and you occasionally miss work for a week after tripping over your front doorstep.

Matt Holliday #7: You are a consistent person, able to do your job at a high level on a regular basis.  When something needs to be done, people usually think of you, even if you aren’t their first choice.  However, you aren’t perfect (nor perhaps as good as that last guy that was in your organization) and so you occasionally get blamed for just being human.  Sometimes the big opportunities don’t come your way because people think you can’t get it done in the clutch.  You don’t say much about that, though, just keep going about your business.

Matt Carpenter #13: Day after day, you are there.  You do what people ask of you and you do it well.  Completely new situation?  No problem, you adapt and shine.  Need to make room for someone else?  You step aside or into a new slot without the least little squeak.  You can do a little bit of everything and do it with style and success.  No matter what the role, you can make something happen.

Jon Jay #19: You’ve got a unique sense about you. While most people would go from point A to point B, you like to occasionally throw point C into that route.  You often get praised but secretly you wonder if you have done enough to earn it.  You can come up big or you can fail big, either seems as likely as the other.  Also, you have trouble tossing wadded-up paper into the trashcan on the other side of the office.

Allen Craig #21: When there’s something that has to be done, people call you.  When it absolutely, positively has to be finished overnight, you are the one that burns the midnight oil and has it ready first thing in the morning.  When there’s a project that can’t quite get over the hump, you go in and give it that push.  You are the man of the hour, the one everyone turns to.  Or, perhaps, you are just a big fan of tortoises.

Mike Matheny #22: You are solid and dependable.  Perhaps not inventive, perhaps not dynamic, but a person that garners respect.  You appreciate the smaller things in life, like a good friendship or a ball traveling just 20 feet.  You don’t use fancy words nor are you big on grand gestures, but you are loyal to a fault.  Relationships, that’s what it’s all about with you.  That’s why you have 2,000 Facebook friends and care for each one of them.

David Freese #23: You love the big moments.  You want to be in the spotlight, on the big stage, and love coming through when the chips are against you.  People always remember a story about you, even if it’s just the same story repeated regularly.  You may not be stellar in the day-to-day stuff, but on a big project or a deadline, you shine.  Also, you are a big fan of fall, when the nights get cold and crisp.

Chris Carpenter #29: You do not suffer fools gladly.  When someone comes to work unprepared, you’ll get in their face, even if you aren’t their boss.  You demand high quality and will explicitly tell people when they are coming up short.  You also demand a lot of respect, but you’ve also earned it.  You’d give everything to your job, even body parts.  No one questions your dedication and, when people get to know you, they usually like the other side of you.  If they don’t know you, though, it’s a different story.

Jason Motte #30: You love the summer because you enjoy the heat.  You like fast cars and going quickly to any destination you might have.  You even walk fast on your way to work.  You are direct and don’t beat around the bush.  You do have some depth to you, occasionally surprising people with your thoughtfulness, but more often than not you go right to the point.  Alternatively, you are Amish or really dig a good beard.

Lance Lynn #31: It’s not always your fault, but things tend to snowball on you at times.  Once one thing goes wrong, there’s a whole slew of issues.  The dog gets sick the same day the car won’t start the same day your family is mad at you.  People tend to forget your good times, seeing you as that walking dark cloud of doom when you come into view.  That may be because you tend to walk with your shoulders slumped, your head down, and your hellos sound like this.

Jake Westbrook #35: You are the guy that has had his moments, but usually is found on the edges of the crowd.  Sometimes you try to make your presence felt and it works from time to time, but then you try too hard and everyone remembers other places to be.  You do know the right people–a couple of more respected members of your circle will indulge you from time to time–but it is usually just awkward when you show up.  Everyone tries to be nice, even though they know your A game isn’t quite A level.

Pete Kozma #38: You are a very nice, polite and respectful person.  You really don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings, even when it might cause some embarrassment for you going forward.  You can handle it and be the bigger person.  So when a family member gives you a jersey as a Christmas gift, you wear it occasionally, even if you’d rather not.

Shelby Miller #40: You like your things new, but you aren’t as concerned with the cutting edge.  You’ve got the iPhone 5 but didn’t feel like you had to have an iPhone 5s.  Your car is four or five years old and you aren’t looking to upgrade given that it still works quite well.  You can get by with an older computer if it keeps up with what you need for it to do.  You’ve not even figured out all the bells and whistles on this one, why get another one just yet?

Shane Robinson #43: Sometimes you get overlooked.  Perhaps it’s because you aren’t a standout at what you do.  Perhaps it’s because you didn’t go to the fancy school or know the right people.  Perhaps it’s because you are shorter than your average dwarf.  Whatever the case, you take the opportunities you are given and make people take notice.  You enjoy the shock people get when they see you doing something and succeeding at it.  You’ll go all out, scrapping your way to the top if you have to.  You won’t stand on ceremony–any time you get a shot, you’ll do whatever you can to make it work.

Adam Wainwright #50: You are a pitching fan and you love the big curveball.  You emulate that by dropping some surprises on folks all the time, but just the good ones that succeed, not the ones that get you banned from proper social circles.  Alternatively, you are a funky dancer that loves creating your own moves and teaming up with others for a group dance that rocks everyone watching.

Michael Wacha #52: You love the new and shiny.  You upgrade as soon as you get the chance and always want the new toy, the most recent version.  You may not understand all that it does or really need it, but you know everyone is talking about it and you want to be part of the in group.  You’ll wait in line to be one of the first to have something and then make sure to post about it on Facebook.

Matt Adams #53: Go big or go home, that’s your motto.  You like big trucks, oversized gestures, and being large and in charge.  Doesn’t matter if it’s the city or the country, you want it to be the biggest and best.  You even go big when it comes to your sandwiches, never skimping on the mayo.  It doesn’t matter what you use to fill in the blank, you want it big.  That’s why the Adams jerseys never come in anything smaller than XXL.

Jaime Garcia #54: You prefer the home life.  You don’t travel around the world and when you do try to take a vacation, bad things always seem to happen.  It’s a great story later on, but pretty miserable when you are going through it.  You’d rather just sit back, prop up in your favorite chair, and read a good book.  No need for all of this adventure stuff.  You also are a bit on the quiet side, so that if you are missing from your group, that fact isn’t always immediately noticed.

Oscar Taveras #??: Forget cutting edge, you have to go right to bleeding edge.  You scour tech blogs looking for the big thing coming after the next big thing.  You can’t wait until Christmas gets here, so much so that you start your shopping in July.  You have plans already made for 2016.  You always try to stay one step ahead of the crowd and occasionally let them know just where you are.  You’ve had this since #91 showed up in camp last year.

Admit it, you are going to look at your wardrobe a little differently from now on.  Be sure to make your clothing choices wisely!

  • Mike October 17, 2013, 4:16 pm

    What?? No #51?

  • Jimmy Kruszynski October 17, 2013, 4:17 pm

    Hmm what about Rosenthal?

  • Jimmy Kruszynski October 17, 2013, 4:17 pm

    Hmmm what about Rosenthal?

    • aprfool79 October 17, 2013, 7:39 pm

      I honestly can’t remember off the top of my head what # Rosey wears
      which tells me he’s due for an upgrade. Once he is firmly established in
      the rotation, I’ll be adding the MO native’s shirsey!

      • Cardinal70 October 17, 2013, 9:30 pm

        Rosenthal is in Part 2, though I had to correct him as I had his old number in the post as well. I should have looked at this again and put Dirty Dan in there. Can’t do them all, I guess!

  • Gary Warren October 17, 2013, 4:18 pm

    My #5 Ron Gant jersey says about me that I never throw anything away.

  • aprfool79 October 17, 2013, 7:42 pm

    My pick will always be Dirty Dan, but I need to find/make one without his name on it. That way when people ask, I can tell them it is to honor Descalso who only needs the Birds on the Bat to make a difference!

  • Diane Schultz October 17, 2013, 7:58 pm

    Or if you have a MCarp jersey. you don’t have triskaidekaphobia or are not superstitious.:)

  • Ernesto Chiggerachi October 18, 2013, 9:56 am


  • Doug Dolan October 18, 2013, 8:21 pm

    Edmonds? #15??

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