The Office, St. Louis Style

It started, for me*, from this picture put out by Matt Sebek of Joe Sports Fan fame:

Matheny Scott

This struck a chord with me, as I was a fan of The Office for much of its run (I gave up around the episode where they baptized Jim and Pam’s baby and just never made it back).  I’m not necessarily saying that Mike Matheny is in a position that he’s unqualified for–I think while his decisions at time are questionable, calls for a change in the dugout are premature–but it’s a great concept to play with.

*Apparently our friend Pip from Fungoes noted something in this line a couple of years ago, which was then humorously added on to by Alex Fritz, because that’s what he does.  That and Legos.  Both really well.

Anyway, I then took to Twitter for a little crowdsourcing.  If Matheny is Michael Scott, who would some of the other players in a Cardinal-themed The Office be?  (Not to be confused with The Front Office, the #Nestflix original that the team put out on Instagram last year.)  Feel free to put your selections in the comments, but these were the ones that popped out to some of us on Twitter.  Hat-tip to @bluesfan1972, who did a lot of the heavy lifting here, though I appreciate all that contributed (and hopefully will continue to do so!)

Jim–Adam Wainwright.  He’s goofy, he’s fun-loving, and you could completely imagine Waino sealing someone’s bat in Jello.  That said, he’s also possibly the most professional when the lights are on and quite good at his job.

Kevin–Jason Motte.  The “big dumb lug” might fit well with Motte’s previous “grip it and rip it style”, though Motte is doing a little less of that in his return for surgery and also has much more hair than Kevin ever will.

Dwight–Lance Lynn.  Dwight can get the job done–he’s routinely one of the top sellers–but his eccentricities can overshadow what he does get done.  He also would not look out of place in a rustic bed-and-breakfast on a beet farm.

Stanley–Yadi Molina.  A no-nonsense guy that wants to put in the time and get the job done.  Stanley might not pay attention much in meetings, but I could totally see Yadi doing crosswords when Matheny was going over hitters, since he knows all that stuff already.  Plus, if a pitcher ever questioned him on the mound, he’d definitely bust out, “Did I stutter?”

Creed–Randy Choate.  If you’ve got a slightly crazy–OK, probably more than slightly crazy–person you’ve got to find a match for, you should always look to the lefties.  Choate’s got his own way of doing things, though it’s not likely he’s running a scam in the bullpen.  (Yes, I know, I left that door wide open.)  Motte was also nominated for this one, which could work as well.

Ryan–Joe Kelly.  The temp that hit it big (Ryan by getting control of the office, Joe by getting into the starting rotation) only to be sidelined (Ryan with that pesky fraud thing, Joe with that pesky hamstring).

Warehouse worker–Tony Cruz.  They are hardly seen, only occasionally have something to do, and you can barely remember their names (save for Daryl).  Don’t think we need to say anymore.

David Wallace–John Mozeliak.  They are both in charge, both are the boss of Michael.  And, look, it’s fairly obvious:

David Wallace john_mozeliak_2007_10_22


Todd Packer–Daniel Descalso.  Scott/Matheny has an deep fondness for him, while most everyone else realizes he’s not appropriate for the task at hand.  Or any task, for that matter.

Toby–Peter Bourjos.  Given how strongly Matheny reacts to using Bourjos at times, this one seems pretty obvious.

Any others?  Leave them in the comments!

  • Buddhasillegitimatechild38 June 5, 2014, 8:33 am

    Wow, very well done. This clearly justifies how correct you are no matter what:
    “He also would not look out of place in a rustic bed-and-breakfast on a beet farm.”

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