Last Night’s Game in Star Wars Media

It’s Star Wars Day (May the 4th, you know) and I had no real desire to write up yesterday’s Cardinal outing. However, Star Wars is always there to help me and annoy StlCardsCards, so let’s mix things together.

After the offensive explosion of the night before, when the Cardinals were treating the Phillies like this

Alderaan

there was hope that the offense would stay on track against Aaron Nola. To say that was wrong was an understatement. Nola was all

Mind Trick

and getting the results he wanted. For the 11th time this year St. Louis struck out more than 10 times. They are 1-10 in such games.

What

Yeah, that’s not good, is it? The firepower of this fully armed and operational battle squad seems to have more than just a two-meter exhaust port as a weakness.

On the plus side, Michael Wacha got the Hero tag by reminding us that he can be amazing at times.

Poe

Wacha went eight innings throwing just 100 pitches. He struck out eight, walked three, and should have gotten a win. He got the loss due to that

Nerfherder

Ryan Howard, who showed again how much he loves his hometown by parking yet another ball over the fence. Immediately, voices all over cried out

Impossible

No, actually everyone was waiting for that, given Howard’s history. I think the broadcast said that was his 26th homer versus the Cards, which actually seems low.

Soon after this, with the Blues starting up, it seemed like a lot of folks were like

Boring

With a one-run game, though, any of that vaunted power could have tied it up. Instead, St. Louis mustered a total of one base runner after Howard’s blast, a single by Stephen Piscotty in the ninth. Nothing came of it, though, which led to a lot of

Chopper

When you look at the offense to find a Goat, all you can think is

Matt Carpenter led off with a double. Piscotty singled in the ninth. In between, all you had was a Yadier Molina infield single (that had to be reviewed to actually happen) and a walk by Kolten Wong.

Mace

I’ll go with Matt Holliday as the Goat with the knowledge that it could have been anyone, really. Holliday was up with a runner on and less than two outs twice, but nothing to show for it.

Get Ready

Adam Morgan, a lefty with a 5.40 ERA, goes tonight against Mike Leake.

3PO

Let’s hope the bats show up, otherwise

Bad Feeling

Enjoy Star Wars Day, everyone! May the Force be with you!

BB8

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