Top 10 Reasons The Cardinals “Hacked” The Astros

You’ve probably heard by now about the allegations that employees of the Cardinals have been implicated in the hacking attack of the Houston Astros system.  We’ll talk more about this story in a more serious nature either later today or, more likely, in tomorrow’s post.  It sounds like it’s a couple of employees that tried on their own to see if some old Jeff Luhnow passwords still worked at his old place.  It’s not a good look, but it doesn’t sound like it’s a systematic issue or an organizational flaw.  We’ll see, I guess.

However, that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at ourselves a little bit.  (Everyone else is, right?  They aren’t listening to arguments right now anyway.)  So, from the home office in St. Louis,  Missouri, the Top Ten Reasons the St. Louis Cardinals “Hacked” the Houston Astros…….

#10: Luhnow made a great spinach and artichoke dip and they were looking for the recipe.

#9: Were trying to find the roster file to add Pete Kozma to it.

#8: Just wanted to see if Luhnow’s old password, “WaltJockettySucks”, still worked.

#7: Was hoping to find a social media plan for some tips.

#6: Checking to see if Houston ever found that ball Albert Pujols hit off of Brad Lidge.

#5: Thought it’d be funny to bump Colby Rasmus up the “Free Agents To Target” list.

#4: Wanted to change everyone’s wallpaper to this:


#3: Along with #4, all computers now boot up with the audio, “Go crazy, folks, go crazy!”

#2: Fredbird told Rosie Red he could get her Orbitz phone number.

And the number one reason the St. Louis Cardinals “hacked” the Houston Astros…….

#1: Thought they were voting for the Royals on the All-Star ballot.

  • Buddhasillegitimatechild38 June 19, 2015, 6:15 pm

    very nice, makes me sad there wasn’t Letterman still doing late night to broadcast this or a clever one of his own. Thank you for it

    • Haljordan77 June 20, 2015, 4:34 pm

      Letterman probably would have asked why the Yankees didn’t think of it.

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