Offseason Journal: Day 22

Day 22:  Feast or famine

 

The Cards called a 2pm presser today to announce a 3-year extension for manager, Mike Matheny.  GM John Mozeliak also announced the formal retirement of the man who puts the BMF in BAMF, Chris Carpenter.  There were other lesser stories as well, including announcements about Oscar Tavares being named to the 40-man roster, and our old friend, Jeff Luhnow picking up Ryan Jackson.

Later in the evening, word came down that the Tigers and Rangers had pulled the trigger on a blockbuster deal sending Ian Kinsler to Detroit in exchange for Prince Fielder, some money, and many many grilled cheese sandwiches.

This is all great, don’t get me wrong.

But take a minute and think about those commercials on TV, where they ask you to donate money.  You know, the ones where “less than a dollar a day” would keep flies out of kids’ eyes or something.  Let’s say you’ve got a starving child on your hands, who has been malnourished for 3 weeks.  Are you really doing that kid any favors if you drop a 7-course meal in their lap one afternoon?  No way.

After three weeks of starving or barely getting by on morsels here and there, there’s no way the kid could possibly consume that much food…all at once.  You wanna help that kid out?  Give him a 7-course meal, but spread that food out over several days, so he can take his time, consume it at a healthy pace, and reap the benefits of the nutritional factors in the food, without making himself sick by over-indulging only to watch the vast majority of the food spoil.

His stomach has shrunken over these last few weeks, and you can’t just go dropping bombs like a Matheny re-up, and an American League blockbuster in the same day you put Tavares on the 40-man, and lose Jackson in what is a growing long line of former Redbirds to Houston.  Take this much baseball news, and spread it out over the course of a week, why don’t ya?!  Either that, or start churning out big news like this on a regular friggin’ basis, or else all that food will go to waste, and that poor kid will never benefit from what you’re trying to do.  Sheesh!

Feed him these lavish meals more often, or ration the food out to make it last all offseason!   You know, metaphorically, I mean.

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