Too Close To Call

As Summer melts away and the end of the regular season approaches at breakneck speed, we’re all awash in anticipation of the offseason and the announcement of baseball’s major award winners. If we had it our way, we’d call it all off this very moment, raffle off the Commissioner’s Trophy, and get straight to the good stuff. Can Francisco Liriano hold off Marlon Byrd for the NL Comeback Player of the Year award? It’s worse than waiting for the Breaking Bad finale.

But, if you’re like me and can’t possibly digest the excitement a second longer, we can turn to respected baseball writers, turned discount fortune tellers:

And there you have it. Scratch the NL Cy Young off the list. Just like that Maserati I’m getting for Christmas this year, it’s all but wrapped up. Only formalities, like financing, remain. Never mind that Adam Wainwright has a nearly identical season, featuring more complete games (4) and a historically low walk rate (3.4%):

And, to make the most of this palm reading, THE GREAT HEYMAN kindly asks that you forget Matt Harvey exists:

That’ll be $45.

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